Say it and Spray it!
I go to Italy at least once a year and am annually called ‘Miss White.’ This could be because my name technically means ‘white’ in Italian or it could also be down to the fact that I am simply so much damn paler than those Mediterranean dreamboats. They call one English chap ‘Mozzarella’ so I suppose I get off lightly. Anyway, I digress.
This year I need some pre-sun tanning armour. I hate sun beds so in this section, I test the best DIY spray tanning options on the market and rate them 1 – 5 (1 being mozzarella white, 5 being bella bronzed). Here are the crème de la crème in my humble opinion:
Best for Your Body: Boots Soltan Beautiful Bronze Non-streaking Dry Mist Spray
This was really amazing (and really cheap, less than 4 quid) and would have been super-simple to use had I not have instantly broken the bottle with my cackhandedness. After I had managed to re-attach the spray nozzle, things went swimmingly and I took myself from pale to brown in not very long at all. Only complaint? It took a little while to dry. It left a lovely bronze colour with a quite nice smell though, so I didn’t mind.
Best for Your Face: Garnier Ambre Solaire Dry Face Mist Original No Streaks Bronzer (RRP: £9.92)
Your face can be so blummin’ difficult to tan but this made it really easy. Simply exfoliate, properly removing any residual traces of make-up, hold this can about 30cm from your boat race and spray. Please, for goodness’ sake, make sure you are holding the Garnier can and not your travel Elnett. That would be really unpleasant.
It could do with being a bit darker, in my opinion (but then I am a complete tanorexic).
Best if you are in a Rush and Your Legs Look Pasty: Sally Hansen Airbrush Spray
If you’re too hot to wear tights but your legs resemble a pot of rare corned beef, this is the wonder spray for you. All you have to do is shave/wax your pins (you know you have to) and then spray this stuff over them evenly. Hey presto: tanned, even-looking legs are yours in a second. I get through cans of the stuff.
Best if You are Far Too Lazy for DIY Tanning: Australian Gold’s Naturally Advanced Spray Tan (RRP: from £25)
I went to Solaria (http://www.solaria.co.uk/, t: +44 (0) 2079019009) on the Kings Road for this tanning treatment. Ela sprayed down my flabby, pallid flesh with the aloe-vera-rich, 70% organic Australian Gold formula.
I was instantly left with an absolutely gorgeous deep brown colour without so much of a hint of ‘Tango.’ I was going to post a photo of my ‘paper pants tan line’ but thought better of it (bearing my bum on the beach is scary enough, readers – I don’t want it to be on the net too!).
Take my word for it, if you want a rich, long-lasting tan and desire someone else to do it for you, this is the place to go. Their website is: http://www.australiangold.com/. Their moisturisers make for a great holiday boost, too.
Okay you gorgeous Italians, I am on my way, lovely and brown! Readers, I will be back next Wednesday…
(The pic at the top is Liz Hurley shot by the legend that is Mario Testino - I intend to look like this on the beach - will let you know how I get on!)