Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Fabulous yet Financially Challenged

I’m not a student anymore and yet I live in a flat with two other people, with whom I drink beer and throw parties. I have a proper job that pays pretty decently and yet I consistently have little/no cash. My overdraft(s) barely keep me afloat. What the hell is going on? How does this complicated financial equation pay out? London. London is the answer. Even if I interlink my week with the free parties I am lucky enough to be invited to and almost booze-free socialising, then I still have to pay above the odds to squidge onto the tube every day and also need to eat (sometimes, I need to eat a lot).

Other things also factor, my insatiable need to shop is one of them. The only things I buy now are either second hand or Primark’s finest. How bloody depressing is that?

What’s a girl to do when the bank of Dad has finally dried-up and friends regard your pleas with thinly veiled suspicion. Here are some potential ‘make money quick’ ventures:

1. Escort Agencies. I have heard of ones that employ university graduates – they are taken out to be wined and dined by a certain type of gentleman. Call me a cynic but I’m thinking the words ‘wining and dining’ could be another way to say ‘dirty sex’ so I’m out. If anyone has tried this (posh escort agency, not prostitution) then I would love to hear how you got on.

2. Scratchcards. Be warned, these are bloody addictive. I’m actually doing one right now: won a pound-woo hoo. The scratchcard itself actually cost a pound as well. Imagine though, imagine if you won!

3. The Lottery. Now I have heard good things about this one, it seems as though chavs win millions pretty much every week – I always read about it in the paper. I would very much like to win the lottery, wouldn’t that be cool? I would spend it on wicked handbags though, instead of pimping my Mazda beyond all recognition. I’d probably give some of it to charity too – I’m nice like that.

4. Ebay. I really want to sell a load of all my old clothes on Ebay – it would have the added bonus of freeing-up space in my room for more Primark stuff. I’m a bit worried about this one though as I could potentially just start buying loads of shit on Ebay, spending more than I make. Even though I have identified this pitfall, I would probably still make this mistake. Also, I can’t find my digital camera and can’t be generally bothered – too much effort.

5. Marry Someone Rich. Obviously this is quite a tricky one. My boyfriends are wonderfully creative and have talent in absolute bucketloads but tend to err on impoverished side. I have (way) too much taste to be a WAG but am too damned desperate to be all that discerning. A city type could be an option but goodness knows how you find one of those. If it involves hanging around those boring bars in Bank then perhaps I’d rather not.

So there we are people, this is the very best financial advice I can offer. I’m sorry it’s so shit. My Dad always tells me to write down everything I spend. He has told me to do this for about the past six years (he just told me again when I started to beg) but I haven’t done it because it is simply way, way too much effort. Perhaps you’ll have more luck with it though.

My opinion? Fortune is a frame of mind, not the number of pounds left in your overdraft(s).


Sarah Edwina Rose said...

Ha this made me laugh a lot! I mourn the bank of Dad...
I tried the Ebay but my latest offering had no takers which is really insulting!

Chris @ LG Blog UK said...

Haha. The lottery? Come on..You know what they say about fools and their money....

And I read yesterday that you have as much of a chance of dying in the next hour as you do of winning the lottery.

So that's a cheery thought.